Monday, June 23, 2008

To the Junkie who Verbally Abused Me Saturday Night

Ha ha my life is better than yours.

I win.


Many of you will have probably noticed that I've been staggeringly MIA on this web based thought provoking forum. For awhile I thought it was laziness, writers block, or (gasp) sheer stupidity and unintelligence on my part, but I've come to understand what the real problem is. It is my piece of shit computer. Yes, that's right, piece of shit computer. I've never been all that computer savvy, although I did manage to fake my way through 18 months working at a less than reputable internet company. But that's another story entirely, and frankly, one that isn't all that interesting. So here I sit with a 3 year old Dell whose problems run the gamut from defunct tab button to broken cd-rom. I've decided to get myself a new computer - and it's going to be a MAC.
The world is divided into 2 camps. Those who are PC users and MAC users. For some reason, the PC users and staunchly anti-mac. The mac users don't seem to give a shit. They know they've got superior machines and can't be bothered to even argue the merits of their choice. I'll admit that I was anti-mac for a long time, an unreasonable stance to take when I didn't know the first thing about either machine. Can you say sheep?
When Rebekah got her mac a few years ago I was unreasonably harsh with her. While my anthrax letter writing campaign to her was slightly over the top, I do think I had a few valid points. Namely, why are you spending $3000 (yes) on a machine you need for email? I'm pretty bad at using the internet, I'm equally bad at downloading music and attaching files. But I look like Steve Jobs compared to Rebekah. Not sure if she's ever heard the term IP Address - I'm pretty sure when referring to Web Browser she's referrring to herself. "But I'm browsing the internet!" Right. I am still waiting on pictures she took a year and a half ago. You'd think her $3000 now obsolete mac book would get the job done.
So why am I still puttering around on this pile of garbage? The truth is, I need to sit with the idea of parting with $1300 before I can actually go out and do it. Yes, I will spend the money, get the new computer and blog like no one's business afterwards. But to drop $1300 without coming to terms about doing so is a bit hard to swallow. Unless I've been drinking heavily. Thank God the mac store closes at 5.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Lame? Yes.

Something very bizarre has happened.

A few weeks ago Duddy and I were at Lily Nails getting tandem pedicures when I noticed that the kindly Vietnamese owners had procured a rather fancy looking television. Would we like to watch a DVD while our callouses were buffed and obliterated? Yes, yes we would. Well on came the Celine Dion DVD so I gave my obligatory eye roll, "God, she is soooo laaaame", etc. Then a funny thing happened. I found myself not only enjoying her performance but actually feeling something. Like my soul had been touched. Feeling somewhat ashamed, I tried to attribute this reaction to another scenario entirely.
Bear with me.
My mother and John would have dinner parties almost every weekend. She would cook all day, take a nap in the afternoon and drink all night with her friends, not a bad way to live, I might add. Before the guests arrived she would put on the music while John made the bruscetta. There was always bruscetta. My mom rotated between 2 cds, Loreena McKennitt and Celin Dion, both lame and both total Mom music.
Back to Lily Nails. Could it be that hearing the Celine Dion brings back painful memories of my departed mother? I'd like to think so. You see, the problem is, I actually like some of her music. Fuck me. So I can't dredge up a whole bunch of dead mother stuff and blame it on that, which would be convenient. I'm just going to have to face the fact that I am lame and might have shitty taste in music.